So. I’ve been wicked quiet lately. Quiet because I’ve been on the brink of freaking out completely, and I’m really not the type who freaks out like that. Whine, yes, moan, sure, but lose it? No.  However, Nickolas has been in and out of town the last few weeks, so it really seems like I am living alone again.  Which wouldnt be that big a deal, except we got another cat.  A kitten and frankly?  Its a bitch.  She wont sleep when I sleep, she wants to play when I want to get work done, she eats my shoes!  Dearborn wants to fuck her up half the time and so the mewling and scratching and fighting is literally driving me nuts.  I am not sleeping, I am not getting laid and I am not a happy person right now.  PLus, work is completely nuts right now.  I swear, if I hear one more complaint about my department - an evil hag is out to get three of us, I just know it! - I am going to freaking lose it.

 

So, this is me, this morning:

I wake up before my alarm goes off, usually at two or three to 6AM.  WHy is that?  Cant a girl just sleep until her alarm goes off?! I push the kitten off me (her favorite sleeping spot from 4AM on - which is usually occupied by Nickolas),  and shower. Kitten sits on toilet, meowing and convinced the water’s killing me.  Dearborn growls and hisses from the doorway. Get out, calm kitten down, feed kitten, blow dry hair, get dressed.

If I was out drinking less than 12 hours ago (which has been frequent lately - I’m going to be a raging alcoholic by the time I’m 30), I play “find the keys and cellphone,” which this morning, were hiding in my left shoe, underneath the bed. Logical, I tell you. Open the shades so cats can stare out the window at the birds, and leave.

Similar to “find the keys and cellphone” is “remember where you parked the car,” which usually takes just a couple detours down side-streets, and occasionally sparks a “they towed it! they must have!” panic. Which hasn’t happened yet, thank Bob.

Drive across 520, flip off morons (hey, I haven’t had coffee yet). Get to work, get organized, write a quick blog post, figure out which emails are important and which I can pretend never happened. Get coffee with two co-workers, one who arrives before me, one who arrives after. Gossip about (insert reality TV show from previous night here).

Go back to desk with coffee, put on headphones, zone out to music while tying up loose ends from yesterday before starting in on today’s messes and meetings.  Oh, and if I am lucky, I get several hundred text messages a day from a lonely horny Brit two or sixty states away.

Is it horrible that I already want a bottle of wine and sleep and its only 11:21AM?